SEX

Hormonal changes or brain damage can cause sexual changes after TBI. Here are some other examples from the (Ontario Brain Injury Association, sex issue p. 7)

• Decrease in interest in sex

• Increase in interest in sex

• Increase in making advances or inappropriate comments

• Decrease in arousal (erection for men or lubrication for women)

• Difficulty getting an orgasm

• Having more orgasms than normal

• Changes in women’s periods (Irregular, stop altogether) or difficulty getting pregnant.

• Decrease in sperm production and getting a woman pregnant.

These can be caused by:

• Medication side effects 

• Being tired

• Less tolerance for any physical activity

• Can’t move very well due to injuries

• Changes in thinking

• Emotional changes

• Challenges with communication

• Changes in relationships/role changes

• Lower self esteem

 

Solutions 

• Talk with your doctor, get a medical exam, and check hormone levels

• Counseling to help with emotional issues

• marital, couples or sex therapy to help adjust after TBI

• Plan sex activities, remove distractions, positions and when to have sex with your partner

• Watch movies or read books/magazines with erotic content

• Use sexual aids www.Mypleasure.com/education/disabil- ity/index.asp

• Practice with social relationships

• Practice safe sex

 

Marriage

Relationship and Role changes

• Survivors do less housework to focus on getting better and then partners have to take on more (home maintenance, finances, managing the healthcare of the survivor, etc..). This causes an increase in their stress

• Partners/caregivers will have more responsibilities and survivors will have less as they are focused on recovery. This results in different expectations about how much time partners have to spend together

• Previous partner relationships can shift and turn into parent/child type relationships.

• Survivors may be much more reliant on their partner than before which also adds to their partners stress

• Sexual intimacy may be affected

• Separation/divorce

• When partners are overwhelmed, their communication changes. Changes in communication can leave each feeling isolated, or that you don’t know your partner anymore

• Increased criticism and frustration can happen in these uncertain adjustment periods

• Survivors can feel sad or frustrated when asked to move aside

• People feel that sharing their negative feelings will burden their partner

Adjusting to family changes

• Be understanding of each other’s new responsibilities

• Say thank you to your partner for managing new responsibilities

• Take breaks from responsibility

• Talk about how roles have changed

• Ask-what works best for you in this situation?

• Try not to criticize the partner who is taking on a new role

• Work hard to support each other. Empathize.

• Work hard on supportive communication. Listen to your partners feelings.

 

Friends

Communication

• It may be difficult to describe symptoms to friends

• Friends may change-You may need to develop friendships with other TBI survivors

• You may need to find and connect with a mentor/advocate

• You may need to find ways to connect that look different than they used to: going for walks, coffee

• You will need to build support groups around yourself….if people don’t ‘get’ your injury and effects, minimize connections with them

 

Family

• Be aware and ready to deal with relationship and role changes within your family (ie Husband as caregiver) 

• Communicating about your brain injury may be tricky. (Think in advance of what you want to share). You are in control of what you tell people, and not of how they perceive you

• Caring for older parents/children may be harder with a brain injury. (Be sure to state your limitations or what you are able/willing to do, and not willing to do).

• It can be a very lonely feeling when your family members don't understand you. They may think they are trying to be encouraging, but it ends up sounding like you are not quite trying hard enough and if you just apply yourself a bit more, you can become normal again. Try not to adopt this way of thinking and remember that they just want the best for you, but don't understand how different you are now. Even if they have had a similar situation, don't let them diminish your experience as every brain injury is different.​

 

Additional Information:

1. https://msktc.org/tbi/factsheets/sexuality-after-traumatic-brain-injury

2. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3074312/

3. https://msktc.org/tbi/factsheets/relationships-after-traumatic-brain-injury

4. www.Mypleasure.com/education/disabil- ity/index.asp