Denial, Grief, Loss

Denial Grief Loss

Brain Injury comes with a lot of loss like being able to work, exercise, and function like you used to. Then there is the process of grieving those losses. Then we fear more loss. Sometimes it seems easier to deny anything is different. But that catches up with you. See if the information below is helpful to you:

Anosognosia or Denial: Inability to accurately perceive your situation. It’s a way of coping, or a lens your brain uses to protect you from further loss/traumatization, by helping you to compartmentalize it away.

You refuse to agree you are functioning differently. You feel like you are faking it really well and that people are seeing the same unchanged you.

You may blame “slips” in behavior/understanding on anything other than symptoms of your brain injury.

You may blame other people for not understanding or seeing things your way and get very frustrated when they don’t.

Being vulnerable is very hard

My denial example: I used to participate in group therapy. I kept thinking "what am I doing here? I just have to go through the motions in the group so I can get out of here and continue on my day. I am not like them; they are way worse off than me”.

How do you deal with denial?

Owning your injury
Try not to control outcomes-release your grip on trying to force these.
Allowing yourself to be vulnerable
Thinking “I am flawed but so is everyone else in some way”
Embracing and acknowledging the injury and related losses is the first step in healing. This helps you start to process it. Don’t downplay it or be embarrassed to tell others about your injury. Practice this skill.
Asserting yourself and finding your voice, confidence. Your instincts are still intact. With knowledge, understanding and self-acceptance you can begin to trust in yourself again and find the courage to build and shape a new reality.

Grief and Loss

Because brain injury comes with a lot of loss, so your body naturally fears more loss. Other and additional stressful life events can compound and feel like more loss or like you are reliving your previous losses. In order to deal with loss, you have to come to terms with it, without denying it, and stare it in the face. Understand how you have changed. Know you are no longer the same person. Build from there. Dealing with life's great hurts and losses is really hard work, but they are inevitable, so we have to!

What is loss?? https://www.ambiguousloss.com/

Ambiguous loss is the kind you have from a brain injury. It is not tangible. It is very vague. “It can freeze the grief process.” says Dr. Boss, “People can’t get over it, they can’t move forward, they’re frozen in place.” Unlike with death, there is no conclusion, there’s no funeral so to speak.

5 tips for coping with ambiguous loss https://www.ambiguousloss.com/

1. Give a name to what you’re experiencing

Just knowing that what you’re going through has a name and being able to recognize it is the first step in building resilience to the loss, says Dr. Boss. It allows you to find meaning in it. This meaning looks different to anyone who experiences it.

2. Find a therapist

Finding a mental-health professional who has worked with people navigating a similar feeling is important for being able to build the resilience to live with loss.

3. Join a support group to make the invisible visible

“Seek out other people who are walking in the same shoes,” advises Boss. Whether it’s a support group for brain injury survivors, caregivers, or an empty-nesters club, there is a group for almost everything. Online or in-person, finding a community will help you feel seen.

4. Celebrate what remains

Learn to embrace the happy-sad: While you’re grieving what and who is lost, there tends to be built-in silver linings right under your nose. For example, maybe a person can no longer be your go-to hiking buddy after a brain injury, but they’re more than able to be your go-to moviegoing friend instead. While you might have lost somethings, there are always things to be found.

5. Discover new hope for the future

“Once people become more comfortable with the ambiguity and the uncertainty, they are freer to imagine and discover new sources of hope,” Dr. Boss writes.

Frozen grief won’t vanish but having something new to dream about can help people live with an ambiguous loss. This could be as simple as finding a new activity you’re excited about or imagining what you might do with your future, whether it be a new job, hobbies, traveling, or a relationship.

Grief and Loss Exercise:

Power, identity, and self-awareness are some of the many losses that follow brain injury. List 3 of these losses that you experienced after your brain injury.

Family members also experience a number of losses too. List 3 losses that your family has experienced since your brain injury

Coping with loss is essential to recovery, list 3 ways that you cope with the losses

Anger is a healthy response to loss. List 3 acceptable ways to show anger and 3 unacceptable ones.

Acceptance of permanence allows you to heal your hurts and minimize your losses. List 3 ways in which you have shown acceptance of your brain injury losses.

Improving the acceptance of your losses is ongoing. List 3 things that you could do to increase your acceptance

Grief is a natural reaction to loss. List 3 expressions of your grief.